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"So we're back to this again, huh?"

"Don't even fucking start with me, OK?"




"It was time for a change. I thought, you know, I should just go for my dream, so I said 'Fuck it, I deserve this. I'm going to be an ICBM.' You know? It feels good. Jan and I and the kids are still adjusting, but I think it's going to work out. It feels good."

"Can you tell me how to get there? Should I take the FDR or go through the city?"

"Shit, not this goddamn desert island gag again. I mean really."

"Well, we've got the pilot and co-pilot, so the flight's all booked up. But we can put you maybe on standby so that, like, if the TSA, you know, like hauls one of them away to Gitmo or something, then you can fly or whatever. Do you want me to put you on standby? Yeah, OK, cool."

"Dwayne T. Robinson: I've got a hundred people down here, and they're covered in glass.
John McClane: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass? Who the fuck is this?
Dwayne T. Robinson: This is Deputy Chief of Police, Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge of this situation.
John McClane: Oh, you're in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you Dwayne, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit."

"You know how Emma Goldman said, 'A revolution wihtout dancing is not a revolution worth having'? Well we've got nothing to lose but our chains, Stanley, you dick."

"Yes, well, here at GM we've been working hard to stay competitive with Google, you know, and with the war robots and the driverless cars they've been developing. Pretty cool, right?"

"I still think we should get those big bumpers the guy at the counter mentioned."


"Moe: [answers the phone] Moe's Tavern... Hold on, I'll check. Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt. [huge laughs from the bar patrons]
Barney: Oh, that's a new one!
Moe: [realizes] Wait a minute..."

"Aye, aye, my hearties all round; it was Moby Dick that dismasted me; Moby Dick that brought me to this dead stump I stand on now. Aye, aye! it was that accursed white whale that razeed me; made a poor pegging lubber of me for ever and a day! Aye, aye! and I’ll chase him round Good Hope, and round the Horn, and round the Norway Maelstrom, and round perdition’s flames before I give him up. And this is what ye have shipped for, men! to chase that white whale on both sides of land, and over all sides of earth, till he spouts black blood and rolls fin out. What say ye, men, will ye splice hands on it, now? I think ye do look brave."

"According to assholes like Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra, reality is all in your mind and you can make it whatever you wish. So if General Sisi locked you in a cage, I suppose it's your own fault."

"I've got a Spandex suit and some ping pong balls. All I need is someone to motion capture. ...I see you're reaching for your keys."

"So, as you can see from the report, our fourth quarter projections basically oblige me to stab you in back with a bunch of spears and stuff. Sucks right? But we're still cool, right? I mean, we're still going to go see the Rangers on Thursday, right?"

"Rad. I fucking love fresh cookies, don't you?"

"Fuck off, The Edge. It's 4am and you suck."

"Here's the new temp. He's some dead guy."

"I've started telecommuting."

"Medical science, am I right?"

"Lonely Planet was totally right: Florida's a complete hellhole!"

"I'll get you someday, Black Bart!"

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